Since separating from my husband the days bring a sense of loneliness with them that intensifies as the hours tick by. Mostly I keep myself busy with work or distractions but when evening comes around that loneliness is something I want to flee. 

It feels like it will go on forever and so instead of meeting it, which I know is the wiser thing to do, I go into distraction; a glass of wine or two, Netflix binging, I even played with the idea of dating…not because I’m ready to date, I’m not, but because I want to escape the loneliness.

I read some lines written by an Inuit shaman from the far, far north. His words dug into my soul and the wisdom part of me awoke to meet them. ‘The only true wisdom lives far from mankind, out in the great loneliness, and can only be reached by suffering.”

The only way to deal with my quagmire of loneliness is to work with it. To embrace it. The words are easy to say but the process takes a lot more. And so I have gathered
some tools.

I bought myself a doll today, a medicine doll. She’s beautiful. I see in her my wisdom self. The part of me that has access to great stores of wisdom, the part of me that I
hear when I go into stillness. She sits with me to remind to be still, if I want the gifts of loneliness I will have to go through the suffering of it.

I have essential oils recommended by my intuitive friend. A blend of lavender, rose and clove to remind me of my own inner beauty. The florals open my heart and the
spice of clove stirs up the playful, curious parts of me.

I know that my loneliness is rooted in fear and that my fear takes hold in the areas that I don’t trust myself so I begin the day with an afformation; a forming of the strengths I want to surface. ‘Why do I trust myself?” I look at my reflection in the mirror and ask myself repeatedly, ‘Why do I trust myself?” as I inhale the rich aromas of lavender, rose and clove essential oils, anointing myself with them so their scent will be with me as I go through the day reminding me of my strength. Come evening I will sit with my medicine doll and begin my meditation with my
affirmation, ‘I trust myself’ and then I’ll embrace the great loneliness as my teacher.